They apply it not only to communication amongst themselves, but also to prayer.
Attentive listening how to#
Joseph will not need to put himself verbally forward, but is able to learn how to simply be there for the other person in silence.Ĭommunication without words The concept of ‘a listening presence’ is very important to monks. This will create an environment of peace and true encounter in the conversation. This way Joseph can learn to shift the attention from himself to the other person. Instead, Nisteros’ advice is to practice listening. He does not say: ‘Now go and sit in your room and be silent’, or, ‘Try to speak positive words as much as possible’. Silence as a learning environment Abba Nisteros’ advice cuts straight to the heart of the matter and is completely consistent with the spirituality of the Desert Fathers. In the end he asks the Desert Father Nisteros for advice. However, despite many attempts, Joseph has to admit that he cannot control his tongue. He optimistically resolves to take great care when speaking. In the story we read about a monk named Joseph who makes a very deliberate decision. Sadly, words can also do damage when used in gossip and when voicing insensitive opinions. Words can express joy and ask for clarification. Language is a wonderful tool which allows us to express our feelings. Nisteros said to him: ‘If you do not find peace, why do you speak? Be silent and when a conversation takes place, prefer to listen rather than to talk.’ What can I do?’ The old man said to him: ‘When you speak, do you find peace?’ ‘No,’ Joseph admitted. One day Joseph asked Nisteros: ‘What should I do about my tongue, for I cannot control it? I keep saying things that I regret later.
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